Category Archives: Search Requests

Your search requests answered

Today’s amusing search request: should I make an outline slide for my APS march meeting talk?
My physics category archive is the second hit for this search in Google. This is a surprising query to see from (presumably) a physicist: an overspecific question phrased in standard English is not the most well-formed Google search. (Some search engines are designed to take queries in this form, but Google is not one of them.) Nevertheless, the searcher lucked out: the fifth hit is a set of slides on giving good scientific talks.
I’ll answer the question anyway in case anyone else is wondering. If it’s an invited talk, the answer is almost certainly yes—a 30-minute talk will cover enough different points that an outline at the beginning will help the audience follow the transitions. If it’s a contributed talk, with only ten minutes of material it may not be necessary. If the talk divides nicely into multiple distinct sections, it’s a good idea, but if it’s centered on a single result you probably don’t need it.

Best Search Requests of July 2006

I almost forgot to do this. All these are from the old site since the new one has yet to obtain a high ranking in the various search engines.

  • evangelicals who think anthropology majors are going to hell
    Don’t evangelicals think pretty much everybody is going to hell?

  • luke and han kill darth vader end episode iv
    Uh, maybe you should watch it again.

  • napoleon dynamite and social darwinism
    Survival of the misfits?

  • jesus licking
    Obviously a Lebowski-related search, but instead made me think “Bible fan fiction”.

  • zombie lobster
    I’m searching for an appropriate pun but nothing is coming to mind.

  • stop being vague.
    Was this directed at the search engine? Vague Google: “Some results were found on the internet.”

  • my keyboard is spazzing
    Somehow I think this particular query won’t turn up any tech support pages.

Best Search Requests of June 2006

I need to leave the old server up just so I have more of these next month.

  • how to make a real shuriken
    I assume this person is trying to acquire real ultimate power.

  • games with jesus
    Don’t play him in Battleship, that omniscient bastard totally cheats.

  • physics phd for strangers
    Physics is strange, when you’re a stranger…

  • alvin and the chipmunks porno
    All together now: EWWWW.

  • physics of a burger
    It’s a superlattice… of FLAVOR!

  • planes for gazebos
    I just wish this one had been “Gazebos on a Plane”.

  • every female hotmail addresses
    I’ve heard of the shotgun approach to online dating, but that seems a bit excessive.

My favorite is the last one, for its sheer ambition.

Best Search Requests of May 2006

Search queries that led to this site last month in bold, editorial comments in italics.

  • material on topic of its better to lead in hell than to serve in heaven
    Looks like Damien is researching his term paper.

  • images that give you an erection
    This is very strange way to search for porn.

  • how much wine can i bring into the state of connecticut
    An important consideration when passing through customs at the New York/Connecticut border.

  • ninja in literature
    The first appearance of ninjas in English literature is credited to Shakespeare. Macbeth: “Is this a shuriken I see before me?”

  • caltech students introverted and nerdy
    I’m surprised Google didn’t just respond with “Yes.”

  • clinton got a blowjob bush is giving one
    Maybe this accounts for the 29% of people who still approve of his job performance.

  • voting between george bush and grog
    Arrr! The true pirate always votes for grog!

I think the last one is my favorite. 460 searches for “gazebo” last month.

Best Search Requests of April 2006

Another installment of search requests from my referrer logs. Not much of interest this month, except for the guy trying to use it to ask me questions.

  • arcanegazebo what are your thoughts on iran ? You may get a faster response by using the open thread.

  • acura integra 95 weird noises for 5 minutes Dammit Jim, I’m a search engine, not a mechanic!
  • shyness saliva Two great tastes that taste great together!
  • lent as tarditions or superstitious This searcher has inadvertently produced an ingenious word for dumb-ass traditions.
  • searching for church hime You’re in the wrong place, but I have some relatives who may qualify as Church Himes.

315 searches for “gazebo” last month, down a bit from March. My third most popular search (behind “gazebo” and my name) was “lacrosse culture”, interestingly.

Best Search Requests of March 2006

Should I make this a regular feature? As usual, the boldface items are search requests that led to this blog last month, and the italics are editorial comments.

  • the gazebo of power
    Damn, they’ve uncovered my secret identity!

  • ann coulters legs
    This one is just disturbing.

  • popular things of the 90s
    Between the music and movies threads we’ve nearly got that covered at this point.

  • proof of simpson’s rule
    Anyone got a sarong?

  • quagmire is awaiting me
    I suspect this is Rumsfeld contemplating invading Iran.

  • superconducting qubit funding
    Funny, I’m searching for that, too.

  • how does dos equis is digested
    The syntax of this query suggests the author was investigating the problem experimentally as well.

  • masons use superconducting quantum interference device to watch people squid
    You can prevent this by wearing an aluminum RF shield on your head! However, we are still reading your search requests.

356 searches for the word “gazebo” last month, almost double that of February. One could probably track seasonal demand for gazebos this way. (But what about seasonal demand for Gazebo?)

Best search requests of February 2006

From the referrer logs, these were all searches leading to pages on this blog. Editorial comments in italics.

  • getting drunk in more than two dimensions
    If you drink too much, try projecting onto the nearest plane.

  • pics enron employees walking naked
    Corporate malfeasance porn?
  • what is a male reaction to meeting his soul mate if she is unavailable
    I suggest getting drunk in more than two dimensions.
  • english spellings illogical phonetics crazy
    English spellings and illogical phonetics make Homer something something.
  • how to overcome shyness among pretty girls
    If you find out, let me know.
  • cell phones email blackberry news technology solitude
    Which of these things is not like the others?
  • start a business selling physics
    Laws of motion on sale—everything must go! Buy one fermion, get one free! Over 10500 string theories in stock!

The most popular search string was (as always) “gazebo”, 189 hits last month.