Monthly Archives: April 2003


In about an hour I’ll be leaving for Pac Bell Park. If I don’t return, it’s because I was pelted to death with beer cups and hot dog wrappers. Something to do with my blue cap, I think. I can only hope that Mason draws all the fire with his Dodger cap, Dodger t-shirt, blue sweatpants, and Dodger socks.


Ok, I’m a goddamn moron.

I just hit a parked car while trying to pull into a narrow space. Fortunately the damage to the other car was minimal (I broke a plastic corner piece on the rear bumper) and the damage to mine was zero. That doesn’t make me feel any less of a fucking idiot.

I left the dude a note. Let’s hope he’s not just going to kick my ass… (or in the Mafia – isn’t that how Analyze This starts out?)

Oh yeah, there was a woman who saw it and gave me her contact info in case there’s some dispute about what exactly I fucked up. I guess the bright side here is that I got some woman’s phone number… heh. (No, this isn’t particularly reassuring either.)


Surreal moment of the day: I look in the rear view mirror during my drive home, and see that the guy behind me (a) looks exactly like Osama bin Laden and (b) is flipping me the bird.

(I later allow him to pass me (the terrorists have won) and am able to see that his bumper sticker reads “Stop Termite Flatulence”.)


Happy Birthday, Josh!

My plans to sleep in this morning were thwarted by a herd of antelope, confined to the floor above me with fierce African predators. Eventually the wildlife went off to school, and I got a whole twenty minutes of extra sleep. My subsequent Google search for “do-it-yourself vasectomy” yielded only Darwin award stories and no helpful advice.

I’ve been short on interesting links lately, because my attention has been divided 90% lab, 5% kidney stone, and 5% South Park. Eventually I should recover from this vacation…