Arcane Gazebo correspondent and pornomaster Mason sends along the following item:
Index Fingers Point the Way for Male Scientists
Male scientists are good at research because they have higher-than-average levels of the female hormone oestrogen which aids analytical skills, a study on Bath University academics today revealed.
The survey found that male scientists tended to have longer index fingers than other men, indicating high levels of oestrogen present in their bodies.
Men studied had levels of oestrogen as high as their testosterone levels, which caused the right side of their brains responsible for spatial and analytical skills, to develop more strongly.
This study raises many questions: Does this mean that scientists are girlie-men? To what degree should Arcane Gazebo attempt to compensate for this by engaging in traditionally manly activities (like, I don’t know, watching football or belching or something) to boost his testosterone? Or should he artificially increase his estrogen instead, in the hopes of becoming better at physics and thereby graduating earlier? And why is he talking about himself in the third person?